No Alcohol for you, Gray
by Sabrina-nee
Summary: In which Lucy noticed that she has never seen Gray drink alcohol or anything related to that beverage before, and now she knows why. Crack! No pairing! Slight spoiler ahead! Rated T for safety!


**Summary:** In which Lucy noticed that she has never seen Gray drink alcohol or anything related to that beverage before, and now she knows why.

 **Pairing:** No particular pairing. Pure crack.

 **Disclaimer:** Fairy Tail® Hiro Mashima

 **Genre:** Comedy

 **Warning:** OOC within the boundary of reason. **SLIGHT SPOILER AHEAD.** You have been warned!

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" _Kampai!_ " Everybody clashed their mugs with each other happily inside _Monsignor Pierrot's Bar & Restaurant_ they have rented for tonight.

The mages of Fairy Tail are on celebratory mode since today is the mark of the revival of their guild after their elder Master disbanded the whole gang last year. Of course, they are still worried about the whereabouts of their petite Master, but since Fairy Tail will always be... well _Fairy Tail_ , no matter how trivial the reason is there will always be a party in their midst.

Let's get this party started then!

On one certain table, the noisiest out of all, where the infamous mages— and not to mention the pride of their own guild— were gathered together.

Natsu was busy devouring his foods with Lucy watching him in mixtures of disgust and amazement rolled in one. How can he eat those foods so fast without choking on it was still a mystery to the blonde young lady.

"Slow down, Natsu." Lucy reminded her pink-haired partner before taking a bite of her own food. Happy was, as always, trying to woo the whited-furred Exheed cat Carla with his fish.

The Strauss siblings were helping the bar to distribute the drinks and foods to all of the guild members since the bar they have rented is low in manpower now that the whole members are gathered in this place.

"Mira, can I have another whiskey here?"

"Whoaw there Erza, that's your fifth glass already." Levy said, her eyes were shining in admiration. Gajeel clicked his tongue mumbling something akin to _'I can drink much more than that Titania'_ to catch the blue-haired girl's attention. But he failed. Epically.

Their newly appointed Seventh Guild Master merely smirked at Levy. "Fairy Tail is back on track once again. Just feeling like drowning myself with alcohol right now." Erza said consuming the beverage Mira placed in front of her with one quick swallow. "Another!"

With that everyone in the guild cheered for their female Master and ordered their own alcohol to join Erza.

Gray, who was quietly sitting on Lucy's left side (much to Juvia's jealousy since she was sitting across Gray), only chuckled while watching his _nakama_ drink their own alcohol. The Ice Make Mage ordered an iced-tea to Mira.

"You don't drink alcohol much, do you Gray?" Lucy innocently inquired after sipping her own iced-tea. The blonde Mage then pursed her lips as if she was thinking. "Come to think of it, I've never seen you drink alcohol before." She added thoughtfully.

Gray shook his head, surprisingly he was slightly fidgeting the empty mug of his as if he was trying to hide something. "Nah, I just don't like alcohol that much."

That was a surprising news to Lucy, she thought that Gray is the epitome of manliness (aside from Elfman that is) and that he would be one of those men who enjoyed drowning themselves with alcohol. Lucy was silently pondering about the newly found information when suddenly Gray's face harshly slammed on the wooden table.

"G-G-Gray-sama!" Juvia shrieked as she tried to help her not-so-secret crush.

"Oh, sorry man." Gajeel apologized, except that he was not sorry. _At all._ The Dragon Slayer then turned his attention back to Elfman leaving the annoyed Gray behind.

"'Sorry' my ass, _you bastard_!" Gray roared before joining Elfman and Gajeel in their fight.

Lucy sweat dropped while Juvia was openlg cheering for Gray like a love struck she has always been. "Go, Gray-sama kyaa~~ _drop dead Max!_ "

And then Lucy noticed Natsu was laughing evilly like he was planning of something naughty. Raising her one delicate eyebrow, she watched as Natsu snatched Erza's mug of alcohol and exchanging it to Gray's iced-tea.

"What are you doing?" Juvia hissed at Natsu in reprimanding tone and look.

"You wanna know why Gray is not allowed to drink alcohol?" he taunted the Water Mage.

"Huh?" The two ladies raised their eyebrows.

"Watch." Was Natsu's word before screaming for Gray's name. "Your drink is here!" He said looking rather pleasant as he pointed at the mug innocently sitting on the table.

"Oh, thanks." Gray dropped the beat up Max down the floor before walking back to the table and snatched his supposed iced-tea to drink it.

Torn between telling the truth to Gray and knowing the reason why he avoided drinking any alcohol, Juvia gave Gray a complicated gaze.

"G-Gray-sama..." she mumbled in guilt as curiosity weighed more today.

Lucy was quietly watching Gray as he consumed all of the whiskey, that he thought his iced-tea, in one straight gulp.

Natsu was evilly smiling behind his mug back on his seat. Lucy swore she saw red horns on Natsu's head.

Both ladies were waiting for some kind of reaction when Gray finished drinking the whiskey. Seconds passed when disappointingly there were no reaction happened, Gray was just quietly standing there with the empty mug in one of his tight grip, albeit his face suddenly turned dark. Lucy was about to complain to Natsu when suddenly Gray slammed the said mug on the table with much force causing for Lucy and Juvia to shrieked and jumped in surprise.

"I am _Superman_!" Gray suddenly declared.

There was a moment of silence between the guild members.

"Huh?"

Gray was proudly smirking, his hands planted on each of his side with droppy eyes and his cheeks burning into a light shade of red.

The alcohol was taking its much deserved effect on Gray in a surprisingly very short amount of time.

"Hahaha! Gray is drunk!" Somebody yelled followed by roar of laughter.

"N-no, you're not Superman." Juvia, still shell-shocked to see her beloved Gray suddenly so out of his every day cool persona, answered in hesitation.

"What, I'm not? Then, I'm Batman!"

"You're not Batman either." Lucy then answered, amused.

"Spider Man?"

"No."

"Oh, then Captain America?"

"You're not a superhero, Gray."

The drunk Ice Make Mage got quiet for a second, thinking.

Before he laughed ominously. "Then I'm the fucking ultimate ruler of the world! Bow down to my greatness, peasants!" Somehow to Gray's perspective, if you're not a superhero then you're automatically a villain.

Gray continued with his out-of-character monologue while there were constant cheers and teasing from the other members, obviously enjoying the drunk and not to mention embarrassing performance of Gray.

"My, my. And I was so careful not to give Gray any alcohol. I was sure I gave him iced-tea though." Mira said after picking up the mug from the table and smelled it.

"You did, but stupid Natsu here thought it would be funny to see Gray drunk." Lucy said.

Natsu was busy nursing his aching stomach from too much laughing to even hear Lucy's insults.

Mira giggled. "It's been awhile since the last time we saw Gray like this."

"So he's a crazy drunk huh?" Lucy offered amusedly.

Mira nodded.

Juvia watched Gray with worried expression. "Is he gonna be okay?"

The Water Mage asked while watching Gray doing some very impressive acrobatic flips and then followed by series of butterfly-like jumps using his arms as his wings. Didn't know Gray is flexible like that, but he just totally ruined his image.

By now, everyone was either rolling on the floor clutching their aching stomach or slamming their fists on anything as they struggled to breathe in between their laughter.

"He's gonna be fine." Mira reassured Juvia. "This is just the beginning of it." she added knowingly.

Juvia and Lucy blinked their eyes and exchanged each other a very confuse gaze.

"I don't think he's fine, Mira— _where's Gray-sama?!_ " Juvia pushed herself off the bench and frantically looking around the rented bar for the guy.

"H-he's over there— _what the hell is he doing?_ " Lucy pointed a finger.

They all turned their head to Gray, only to find him kneeling before the shock-looking cat innocently sitting on top of the counter minding its own business while in the middle of licking one of its paw.

Not wearing anything aside from his boxer shorts, half-lidded eyes and armed with charming smile that would melt the hearts of thousands of ladies in their Kingdom, Gray suddenly said — "Will you marry me?" — to the cat.

That was when everyone laughed again. Juvia, on the contrary, leaped towards Gray hastily and tried to pry the young man off the ground and away from the cat, who surprisingly has a love-struck expression (complete with blushing cheeks and heart-shaped eyes).

Mira sweat dropped. "A-apparently aside from being a crazy drunk, Gray is also a marrying drunk though all of his victims consist of animals, especially cats."

That was Lucy's cue to laugh as well.

 **"GRAY-SAMA! PLEASE STOP! JUVIA DOESN'T WANT A CAT AS HER LOVE RIVAL!"**

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The next day, Gray refused to show his face in the guild for one whole week. And another week of trying to assassinate Natsu for making him drink that damn whiskey.

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 **THE END**

 **Sabrina-chan's Musing Corner:** Sabrina doesn't know what is happening to her when she wrote this story. What?!

 **Well anyways, please support my story. Read and Review please.**

 _-Support my 'Fairy Avenue' & 'Fairy Tail Academy' fan fiction as well-_


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